Archive for September, 2024

A potpourri of things

September 30, 2024

A mash-up of sunflowers, turning 55, and trying to be still.  

I am not going to lie. For the past couple of months I have been struggling with turning 55.   Maybe because I spend too much time on zoom and see all my wrinkles. I don’t think we were meant to look at ourselves this much. The world we live in focuses so much on the outer part it is very easy to get caught up in the daily craziness.  

Here’s a little excerpt from my daily thoughts over the past few months.

I can only be my best self, and if that means I can’t do all the things I did in my younger days, that’s okay.  I loved those days, they made me who I am today.  It is important to love the good moments, embrace the bad ones, but not hold on to them.

Be at ease with nature and know that this is a process.  I have always cared for my body and mind and as nature changes and evolves, with grace I must follow suit.  

Try not to get caught up in what 35 once looked like.  Remember, fighting against it only makes matters worse.  My advice to me for this coming year is to embrace the grace within and care for my inner self.  Ultimately that is where the peace is, so be easy with yourself because when you are in conflict that is never a good thing.  Stop this fighting with yourself and don’t try to change what is and move forward with harmony and balance and let those cells vibrate and shine out.

I do think it is helpful to be truthful to ourselves even when the truth feels uncomfortable because then we begin to process it.  

Lover and I are off for two weeks of La Dolce Vita on our Italian Sojourn.  Finally in my 55th year I am trying something new…packing light.  

I hope I have the right shoes! xo,

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September 11, 2024

September 11, 2024

It is hard to believe that it has been 23 years since the terror attacks.  We can all recall vividly that beautiful morning with a sky as blue as blue and how quickly it turned into a nightmare.

We all have our stories of that day. Some lost loved ones, some had to escape from the burning towers or surrounding areas, some were brave heroes, and others watched from a distance as our beautiful city crumbled and thousands of beautiful souls were taken from us.  We will never FORGET all those who perished on that horrific day. 

Some of you know my personal story. I lost Chris that day. I was very angry for a long time. In December of 2007 I had a meltdown,  a complete meltdown which I like to think of as my breakthrough.  I finally got help and started my journey toward truly healing.  My heart broke that day like thousands of others and it has taken decades to heal. 

I have always talked about the pain of losing Chris but not for my love of those towers. For years I thought, “How can you mourn buildings, they’re just buildings.” Yet those two sparkling towers had once filled this 6 year-old kid with hopes and dreams. I fell in love with the towers and with their consuming energy. They could be felt even if you had never been to NYC.  They dominated a skyline that said, “Anything is possible.”

How could a new building, a replacement, ever compare? I thought that I could never fall in love with the Freedom Tower. But through my camera’s lens I did indeed fall in love with the new tower and the changed skyline. (Not to mention the years of therapy  that helped make it possible.)

A few days ago, in search of another photo, I came across this one taken on September 11, 2016.  I was with my friend Ashley that evening. We didn’t have plans to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge but something seemed to call upon us and so we did. It was a crisp night as we walked towards the tribute lights. I don’t really know how to explain it but there was this sense of peace surrounding us.  We didn’t have to say much to each other on the bridge. Oddly, it wasn’t very crowded.  I could hear these lyrics from Simon & Garfunkel:  “And the vision that was planted in my brain / Still remains / Within the sounds of silence.” 

It was after midnight when Ashley and I walked home as we shared our 9/11 stories.   It had been a long time since I felt a strong connection with the city. That night something shifted in me.  

I am glad that we have these tribute lights to reflect each year. We must Never Forget. 

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